The Alchemic Drabbles
by oceanic moon
Summary: Quick, short stories of our favourite Fullmetal Alchemist characters. Ranging from funny to dramatic to sad to cute to... dare I say it... romance even? Created to satisfy the soul of any Fullmetal Alchemist fan. Enjoy my fellow worshippers!
1. Capable

**A/N: Hi! Well, this is my first FMA fanfic! *cricket* *cricket* Oh come on! Isn't anyone excited!? ... Damn you guys are a tough crowd. Anyways, like I said, this is the first fanfiction I have ever written so least to say I'm more than a little bit nervous. Reviews are very much appreciated though I do hope people will refrain from out right saying 'THIS SUCKS!'. I don't mind criticism since that's going to help me improve as a writer but flamers are a different matter. Ah you know what!? Just flame me! Flame me as much as you want, I'll just whip out my bag of marshmallows and proceed to make smores! XD Well, onto to the story now! Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist do you really think I'd be making a fanfiction? No, I didn't think so.**

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"ANOTHER ONE!?" came the indignant cry from a certain Colonel's office.

Two years had passed since Edward Elric, famed Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the people and loving older brother to Alphonse Elric had joined the military. Now at the ripe age of fourteen, he was currently in Colonel Roy Mustang's office discussing his latest mission.

"Damn you bastard, I'm not going!"

...Correction, they were arguing about Edward's latest mission.

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It all started with one Flame Alchemist staring idly at the stacks of paperwork surrounding his desk. Hawkeye was out on her lunch break leaving him free to procrastinate all he wished.

As his mind started to wander, his thoughts drifted towards a certain blonde alchemist.

_'Two years,'_ he mused. Two years since that kid did the taboo, two years since he became a dog of the military, two years since he came into all of Mustang's subordinates lives, making sure that he gave them all a heart attack more than once with his recklessness.

Yup, that kid was something else alright. Missing half his limbs and _still_ able to take a few years off of Roy's life. Now that took talent.

And then there was the paperwork. No matter where Ed went, it seemed he was determined to cause as much damage as possible; resulting in more paperwork for Roy. Seriously, didn't the kid know the meaning of the word 'subtle'?

Roy casually glanced at the mound of boring reports that littered his desk. He should probably get back to work. Hawkeye would be coming back soon and if she caught him slacking then...well... let's just say he'd see her more 'trigger happy' side.

Just as he reached for report a loud bang followed by a crash and ending with a thud rang through the room. Mustang didn't even bother looking up, he knew who it was; the 'bang-crash-thud' entrance could only mean one person.

In stepped the Fullmetal Alchemist, dressed in black, red coat billowing with his trademark braid and scowl. He walked pass the kicked in door, heading towards his commanding officers desk. "Here bastard," he said before putting his report on the nearest stack of files.

With that he turned around and proceeded to get as far away as possible from 'Colonel Bastard'.

"Wait a minute Fullmetal. I haven't given you your next mission. Luckily it's a very _short_ one." Roy said, waiting for the boys angry retort.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO SMALL AN ANT WOULD LOOK LIKE A GIANT TO HIM!" Ed screamed.

"That'd be you Fullmetal." Came Roy's smartass response.

Growling, Ed walked (stomped) back and plopped himself down on the couch, facing Roy. This was why he hated handing in reports. The Colonel was always so smug and infuriating, always poking fun at his height. Would it kill the man to lay off of the short jokes!?

Glaring at his superior officer he asked, "well what is it 'cause if you don't tell me in the next minute then I'm leaving. I've got better things to do than to listen to you jab at my height."

Looking up from his stack of paperwork, he casually tossed a big, beige folder towards Ed who eagerly looked through it.

"A terrorist group has set up a base camp up in the south. Your mission is to-" Mustang was abruptly cut off by an indignant yell from his subordinate.

"This has absolutely nothing to do with the Philosopher's stone! I can't waste my time with this garbage. Don't you have any leads or something?" Ed asked. Damn Mustang, always wasting his time with irrelevant missions.

"No I don't Fullmetal. That's why I'm assigning you this. I need to keep you out of my hair somehow!"

"Well maybe if you sent me on important missions then I could find the stone sooner and be out of the military faster. That way I'd be 'out of your hair' forever."

"And you know I don't have any leads so I can't do that!"

"Then if you don't have any leads then stop sending me on stupid missions! Just let me go down to the library to research!"

"And we both know from experience that if I give you time off you wreak havoc on Central and cause me more paperwork!"

And on went the banter. Some point in time Ed had gotten up and tossed the folder back onto Mustang's desk. The arguing still continued as he went for the door. He was getting out of here, screw the mission!

Then Mustang had a brilliant idea. A perfect scheme to trick Fullmetal and get him to obey. Oh this was going to be fun.

"Damn it Fullmetal, if you're going to act like such a child then go take the week off! I'll just give this mission to a more capable alchemist!" Roy yelled.

That caught Ed's attention, seeing as he stopped reaching for the door at 'more capable'.

Slowly turning around he shot his best death glare at Roy.

"More capable alchemist?" Ed asked, his voice straining. **What** more capable alchemist?

"Of course Fullmetal. There are plenty more experienced, intelligent state alchemists here. I'll just send one of them since you can't seem to do it. You know, this is probably for the best actually. You couldn't possibly complete this mission half as good as some of the older military personnel. In fact, I should go just to show how _incapable _you really are!" came Mustang's nonchalant though smug reply.

Oh, that did it! Swiftly turning around, Ed marched back to the Colonel's desk, grabbed the folder, turned around once more and marched right back out. "More capable my ass Mustang! I'll show you how good I can be! Just you wait! Hmph, more capable." Ed said, mumbling the last part. He once again kicked the door open and stomped out, intent on making Mustang eat his words.

And all the while he never noticed Roy's smirk of victory.


	2. Caught

**A/N: I'm ba~ck! *says in a sing-song voice* Anyways, if I'm correct, then I believe that I have been using the word 'drabbles' incorrectly. If someone could give me clarification on whether or not I'm using it right I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: Yes, yes, of course I own Fullmetal Alchemist! See, I have the legal papers right here! *waves papers around***

**Law person: This is a fraud! These papers have been written in marker.**

**Me:... Darn it, it didn't work! I'll think of something though! Just wait, I will get those papers somehow! *Schemes, schemes, schemes***

* * *

Oh, **why** did it have to be him of all people. Couldn't God or Truth or whatever the hell he called himself done this cruel joke to someone else!? First he takes his arm, then his leg, then his goddamn brother and then he does this! WASN'T HE SATISFIED WITH WHAT HE'D DONE ALREADY!? God was a sadistic bastard. He must be to do this.

And why, oh, why hadn't he thought to wonder about the outer office being absolutely empty. Why didn't he turn around when he reached the door and heard those... _sounds_ coming out of the room behind. Why hadn't he shielded his eyes and backed out of the room when he'd seen all those papers and the blue fabric shirts on the floor. Why was he such an idiot for not realizing this!

For a moment, Ed stared. No, he didn't stare, he **gawked**.

Then, he screeched.

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

Ed collapsed to the floor holding his eyes, screaming curses like a banshee. Now you may wonder, '_what can cause the Fullmetal Alchemist of all people to fall to the floor and writhe in pain?' _Well I'll tell you.

There, sitting at his desk, was Roy Mustang. The only problem, it was a **topless** Roy Mustang. And sitting in his lap who else but Riza Hawkeye, in her very lacy bra (the shirt was discarded long ago), having the make-out session of her life with the Colonel. **And they hadn't stopped once Ed had walked in.**

Needless to say, a very pain filled Edward Elric thrashing around on the ground seemed justified for such a moment.

Hearing the curses coming by the door, the couple quickly glanced at their new audience before untangling themselves from each other, all the while blushing crimson.

After pulling up his pants and straightening his military jacket, Roy rounded on the quieted down but still in pain alchemist on the floor.

"Damn it! Why the hell are you here Fullmetal!?" Roy demanded. He was pissed. Very pissed. Not only was he just cheated out of a great make-out session with Hawkeye, he had been caught by the **midget** of all people. Somewhere out there, irony was laughing its ass off.

"Why am I here! Why am I here! I am here because you summoned me bastard! You asked me to come down so I could hand in my report, **REMEMBER!?**" Ed yelled back at the Colonel.

...Damn it, he did remember that. But Hawkeye had just been so enticing when she strolled over to his desk, with that slight sway in her hips and her jacket slightly unbuttoned and the desire in her eyes and...and...

_'No Roy, pay attention! You are not dreaming about how delectable Riza is, you are talking to the midget. Now stay focused!'_ Roy mentally chastised himself.

"Well gee fullmetal, there's this new thing called knocking! Ever heard of it?" Mustang retorted. Even if it was his fault that he didn't remember Ed was coming, he wasn't about to go down without a fight. His pride was at stake.

"I thought it was safe dammit! How was I suppose to know you were devouring Hawkeye when I walked in!?" Ed responded.

"Well maybe if yo-" Roy was abruptly caught off by the click of a gun. Both men turned to look at Hawkeye, who was pointing a gun at each of them. And they **really** did not like where they were aiming.

"Listen, both of you," she said in her usual cold tone, with an underlying hint of embarrassment from earlier, "Edward, please do not tell anyone of what happened here. That would cause great trouble for me and the Colonel. Colonel, I suggest you act like nothing happened and get back to your work. If neither of you comply then I will shoot." Both men nodded their heads readily in agreement, fearing for that vital part of their anatomy.

Dashing over to the desk, Ed placed down his report and turn to scurry out. However, he went back to the said desk and started to rummage through the drawers like he was looking for something.

"What are you doing Fullmetal?" came the rather exasperated tone from the Colonel. He just wanted this day to be over.

"I'm looking for your gloves." Replied Ed.

"Why?"

"I wanna burn my eyes out."

Hearing the gun go off, Ed abandoned his search, jumped over the desk and sprinted out of the room faster than Winry chasing the latest automail invention. Leaping the last few meters he maneuvered himself split second to grab the door knob, slamming the door behind him as he ran as far away as his little legs could carry him.

And this my friends should be taken as an example of should happen if you ever get caught.

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**And that's it for chapter 2! Hoped you liked it! BTW, if anyone has an idea for a chapter then write it in a review and I'll gladly do it. Until next time then! :)**


	3. Worried

**A/N: HI EVERYBODY! Sorry for the long wait. Damn homework kept me from updating. Anyways, here is chapter 3 of The Alchemic Drabbles! Hope you enjoy! :)**

**BTW, from now on I'm going to do a small summary at the beginning so you know what you're getting into. So _PLEASE_ read it first! I don't want to accidentally scar a person for life.**

**Summary: It's been a year after the Promised day and Al is growing suspicious of his brother and Winry. They've been doing something at night and Al's determined to find out what! **

**Disclaimer: Me no own FMA. Me no likey it though. Me wish me did. Me should stop referring to me as me! XP**

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1 year after the Promised day. Al had been restored, Ed had been partially restored, Mustang was climbing the ranks, Hawkeye was pulling the strings that made him climb the ranks, Havoc still had girl trouble, Winry still obsessed over automail, Ling was emperor, May was one of the best alkahestrists and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

No.

You'd think that after all that trouble with the homunculi and the military, the Elric's would finally have some peace and quiet. Well, I hate to break it to you, but trouble finds them no matter what-with or without alchemy.

And that's why dear old Al here was worried. Now those who know Alphonse Elric know that he rarely ever worries about himself. During his fight with Pride, he'd been more worried about Heinkel dying than the fact that an all powerful homunculus was getting ready to tear him apart. When Greed captured him, demanding information about binding souls, Al had not even given a thought about the idea of being disected like a lab rat just for some answers-he'd fretted more over Ed's well being. Being smashed in the head and thrown through a wall just couldn't possibly be good for a persons health. Then there was that time with Barry the Chopper, the Nina and Tucker incident, Winry about to shoot Scar, just fights with Scar in general, the Promised day and so many more events. Through out all of these, he barely ever stopped to think of himself, always too worried for his friends and his brother.

Yes, Alphonse did indeed worry much more about the people he loved than himself. And in this matter, he was worried about Ed and Winry.

Ed of course was no surprise. He was literally a magnet for trouble. No matter where he went, a trail of chaos was always left in his wake. Winry was not much of a surprise either. Her crazy obsession with automail, her wrenches of doom and her very explosive temper was bound to get her in trouble sometime. Besides, she was with the **Elric Brothers**! That had to count for something, right?

A loud crash upstairs jarred Al back to reality. The Elric's had gone back to the Rockbell's house to get some repairs on Ed's automail leg after he trashed it in a fight again. The leg was still being repaired when...stuff started happening.

Lately those two had been sneaking off quite a lot. At first he hadn't given it too much thought. But then he started noticing _things_. They had begun to disappear for hours on end, and whenever they came back, there was always some sort of satisfying look on their face. The 'no-one-knows-what-I'm-doing-and-I'm-so-proud-that -I'm-able-to-keep-it-this-well-hidden' look.

Then came the whispers. Late at night, he'd hear the two talking in the hallway or in one of the rooms, whispering away. The sounds were too quiet for him to make out clearly but what ever they were talking about couldn't be good if they had to do so at such a late hour.

He also began to notice the looks that they passed to each other. Knowing looks swept over their faces when they met, the secretive kind, like some sort of great, life changing knowledge was being kept under lockdown security between them, and they had thrown away the key to the vault.

There was something that those two knew and no one else did. And that worried Al. He trusted them of course, but they were only seventeen. He didn't want them doing something that they'd regret later on. So Al had made it his life goal to find out what was going on and stop it if he had to.

Cautiously, he crept upstairs and towards the tightly shut and locked door. It was around 2 in the morning and they had snuck off again to do something alone. He knew that it was usually around this time when they took off together, so he hid downstairs after midnight to hopefully catch them.

He peered at the door before pushing his ear right up against it, hoping to hear some sort of conversation that might tell him what they were doing.

A moan pierced through the silence. Ed's moan.

He listened more intently.

"Winry, did you have to put that thing right there!?" Ed complained quietly, another moan escaping him. Winry must have done somthing to him, though what Al had no idea. Well, at least not one that is appropriate for a T rated Fanfic.

"Of course I had to put it there. Where else could it go?" She asked, her sweet voice hiding the mocking tone underneath.

"You could have tried the floor, not me!" Ed responded. What ever she did to him, he hadn't liked it.

"Now what fun would it be if I didn't make you moan a little." Winry replied.

Wait, WHAT?

Al's eyes widened. Did he really just hear that? Please him that he hadn't really heard that.

Al listened again when some rustling noise was produced behind the door. Was that clothing? It sounded like it. And it sounded more like it was coming off than going on.

"Hey, Winry, do you think this is going to fit?" Ed asked. Al listened as more rustling noises occurred along with the sound of a bed shaking.

**A bed shaking. **Remind him again of why he was here in the first place?

"It is kind of big but I think it'll be alright. But it does look kind of hard. Here, I'll help you." Winry said back to Ed.

'Is it going to fit', 'It's big', 'It's hard', **WHAT WERE THEY DOING IN THERE!?**

"No thanks Winry, I can do it just fine by myself." Ed replied stubbornly.

"No you can't, you don't even know half of what you're doing there. Remember, I'm more experienced, I've done this a lot more than you have." She retorted back, just as stubborn as he was.

Al's mind was going to blow. Winry was the more experienced one, she had done this with someone else to!? Oh dear gate, what was the world coming to!? And why was Ed not pissed off about that? He was known to be possessive of the things he cherished, so why didn't he blow a gasket just now?

Forcing himself from his (disturbing) thoughts, Al refocused his hearing on the couple inside. He'd missed a bit of the conversation.

"-o that's all I do? Just cover it and thrust it in? That simple?" Ed asked in a slightly surprised voice.

"Yup, but make sure it's fully covered, we don't want anything to spill out." Winry's voice was slightly strained, making Al wonder slightly. And he did not like where his thoughts were going.

"Alright." A bit more clothing-rustling sound occurred before a slight push could be heard and yelp of happiness from a certain automail junky.

"Good job Eddie!" Said junky exclaimed, though quietly. It wouldn't be very good if they woke up the whole house now would it.

"Wha- Eddie!? What the heck is wrong with you!? And stop touching me there! I'm not your servant!" Ed shouted in a whisper.

Al began to wonder again. where and what exactly had Winry touched?

"No, but since I know what I'm doing, I'm in charge here! If you want to do it right, you'll have to listen to me!" Winry stated triumphantly.

Ed sighed tiredly. Al did not want to know what had made him so tired. His poor, innocent brain could not stand for that. It'd explode. Simple.

"Are we almost done here Winry? I'd like to actually get some sleep tonight you know."

"This was your idea Ed. So don't come complaining to me that you're tired!"

Wait, this was Ed's idea? What in the world had possessed his brother to do that!?

Oh, how Al wished he could see in there and not just listen for scraps of information. He wanted a real answer damn it! Were they doing it or not!?

...Woah, wait no. Bad idea there. He did not want see what they were doing, just incase it turned out to be, well... _that_!

"Okay Ed, we're finally done."

"Ha! Finally! Do you think we can spring it on him now?"

Wait, say what? They were going to spring it on who? Please don't say it was him. Please don't say it was him.

"Mmmhmm! We should be able to show him in about a week. I hope he likes it though. It'd be a shame if we went through all this trouble for nothing."

"Ah, you know Al, Winry! I know he'll like it. He isn't a cold hearted person you know."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just being stupid. You know, maybe he could join us the next time. It'd probably be a lot easier with three people doing this."

"Yeah, maybe. Once this is over, I'll ask him."

Ask...him? They were going to...show him? They'd thought he would like it? Asking him to join?

...**OH DEAR GATE NO!**

This was too much for poor, little Alphonse. His brain had been turned to mush, ears and eyes wacked out of commission from the very disturbing images his overloaded mind had created. He stumbled away from the door, pivoting on the spot and running down the hall like a bat straight from hell. He made a heck of a lot of noise as he sprinted down the hall but he didn't care. The only thing he cared about was nursing his poor ears and eyes and brain and nose, for somewhere down the line he had gotten the biggest nosebleed of the century.

Literally, it was gushing more blood than he probably had in his whole body.

_'Never again,'_ Al told himself, _'never again will I sneak out to watch brother and Winry. Nope. Never again.'_

Never.

Ed and Winry rushed to the door when they heard the racket happening outside.

They looked out quickly enough to catch the door to Al's room swinging close with a loud bang.

They looked at each other.

"Do you think Al might have heard us?" Ed asked, slightly confused as he glanced back towards the slightly broken door-having been cracked from being slammed so hard.

And they said Ed was bad.

"I sure hope he didn't! It'd be such a waste if he figured out the surprise we had planned, right when we had finished." Winry said exasperatedly. She turned back around and walked into the room, looking at the big pile of presents on the bed.

Al's birthday was coming up and they wanted to surprise him. Unfortunately, all their old friends were too busy to come so Ed and Winry had thought of another plan. They had everyone buy a present for Al and mail it to them so they could wrap it up and give it to him on his birthday. It'd been Ed's idea; after all, nothing was too good for his little brother!

They had just finished the last preparations when they heard the stumbling outside.

Wonder what they could have said to make him run like that.

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**That's chapter 3 folks! It's also the longest one yet!**

**I feel bad for Al though. Sorry big guy, but I had to do it! I needed to update somehow!**

**Al: *wipes away the remnants of his nosebleed* It's okay. Just please don't do it again. I don't think I could handle it a second time. *looks over at angry Ed* And I don't think brother could either.**

**Ed: HOW DARE YOU HURT MY POOR, INNOCENT, LITTLE BROTHER! I SHALL KILL YOU! **

**Me: Ed, calm down right now or else I go get Winry, the fangirls and tanks filled with milk. You don't want that now do you?**

**Ed:...**

**Me: Much better! Okay, my wonderful readers, I'll see you guys later! If you have the time then please review! I like to know what people think of my stories whether it be good or bad!^^**

**P.S. BTW, if any of you have an idea for a chapter, please tell me in review or something. I know I just started but I'm kinda running out of ideas! Please help!**

**See ya! :)**


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